Paula Houseman

 
 
 

The Making(s) of Me—Romantic Comedy Author

Once upon a time, I wished for a life like the princess in the fairy tale. I thought it was within the realm of possibility because lots of female book characters were living the dream. So was Barbie. My Enchanted Evening Barbie, all dolled up in her pink satin gown, fluffy white wrap, long gloves, and triple-strand pearl choker, looked every bit a princess.

As I approached adolescence, that wish fulfilment wasn’t looking too promising. The thing is, I secretly hated the story book princess with her impossibly small waist and her Cinderella complex—itching for the opportunity to tell a man, ‘You complete me’. (This, probably in sign language because she could barely string a coherent sentence together.)

By the time I graduated from my training bra, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I secretly hated myself; my mother never let me have a Ken doll (I think she feared he and Barbie would do the dirty under her roof. Hhha! As if he could do anything with moulded plastic tackle); and with my smart mouth and my preferences for ugg boots over stilettos, and shovelling industrial-strength chocolate ice cream over nibbling on undressed lettuce, I was not cut out for princesshood. Nuh-uh. I was destined to become a published author.

Still, the road most travelled beckoned—the lure of the picture-perfect Disney princess and her animated life were hard to resist. The pull of authorship was a way off. And anyway, I had some living to do first.

So. I ate salad, got the waistline, wore froufrou frocks, and found a prince. I was living all right, but it was life in the not-so-fast lane.

I hosted Tupperware parties and hung with other princesses, schmoozing about stuff like … how to prevent lipstick bleed or how to avoid chiffon cake sag. I had become that girl.

Then other horrible things happened. The rhinestone tiara toppled and I fell into a different kind of hell: The underworld habitat of perverse stories—those god-awful ancient myths at the root of fairy tales (and all other stories).

From a worm’s-eye view, I saw that my childhood wish had come true. I also got that the prince, even with all his fancy footwork, couldn’t save me from those monstrous voices deep in the psyche.

Still, the pen is mightier than the sword, right? The girdle and gloves were off, I started keeping a personal journal and I gave what-for to this immortal lot! Tried to …

And though writing felt like the most natural thing to do and I felt more alive than I had during my pseudo charmed existence, it was like drowning in slops.  

Then, just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, comedy emerged from the wreckage.

It presented in the form of a potty-mouthed goddess, one who embodies a holy kind of filth. And my earthy humour, which had got me into trouble as a kid and had been gagging on moralism for too long, could no longer be straitjacketed.

Her Bawdiness showed me the absurdity of the human condition and the healing potential in laughter in a society that’s seeing a little too much of the suppressed monsters’ influence. With her as my muse, I started writing my first book.

And so, what you will read in my books—the sheer brazenness—is not my fault. She made me write it, I swear (… often). But I’m not complaining: She made me a writer.  

I feel like a good fit in the category of Australian author, because the Aussie humour is tongue-in-cheek and lippy! And I love being a romance writer. Through my protagonist, I get to be my own brand of princess, not a twenty-two inch waisted codependent, no way! She is more Princess Bite Me than Princess Pushover.

I’m a blogger too. But my blog posts are of a more serious nature. Why? Because life is romance and comedy, and everything in between; because I know that, like me, you need the whole story, and only you can complete yourself. It makes for a more realistic kind of happily ever after … end of story!

 

 

Paula Houseman’s Odyssey in a Teacup is epically defiant, bold, brazen, painful, hilarious, soul-fortifying, and a must-read for anyone who has ever dared (or hoped) to look at themselves in the mirror and ask the question, How in the hell have I survived?
Crazy-brilliant!

Stephanie L Harper Author
Odyssey in a Teacup is an uplifting, hilarious, yet at times, sobering story of how bias, religious and superstitious mores, bullying and self-doubt can hinder personal growth, but also how the love of close friends, a sense of humour, and above all, determination can help us to embark on new adventures throughout our life.
Sally Asnicar
Ruth Roth takes on the world! This feisty little girl who becomes a spirited woman takes us on a rip-roaring journey on which she takes no prisoners! This cleverly written irreverent book allows us to share Ruth’s trials and tribulations with incredulity and laughter and, in the end, witness her personal growth.
Suzi Braddic
‘‘Paula Houseman is at it again—wielding her razor-sharp wit in Apoca[hot]lips, a romantic comedy with twists and turns! Unputdownable.
Gabriella Kovac, Bestselling author
'Paula Houseman’s Apoca[hot]lips is the book to get; prepare for hours of laughter as well as a book that will stick with you long after you turn the last page ... I honestly have not laughed so hard or felt so connected to a story. Absolutely brilliant!
Charla White